The apartment is dead quiet as I have a staring contest with the ceiling. Big surprise, the ceiling wins. Screw it. I can't sleep again. The blackness of the night masks the fact that my small room is spotless. Not one thing out of place. But, this is a bad thing because it only makes me think of how messy Jack's room is...and Jack.
I've been doing this lately, staying up at all hours of the night thinking of my best friend who I'm denying my feelings for. Ever since I'd first met him, I've looked up to Jack, admired him even though he doesn't always come out on top. On top? Oh God! No, Duncan, bad! Bad thoughts! Man, is it hot in here.
That's it, I can't take it anymore! I fling off the suffocating covers and set out for Jack's room. I've been doing this a lot lately too, sneaking off to watch Jack sleep with the moon playing over his calm features. Usually his face is so animated, but when he sleeps he's like a different person. And I think I'll thank every deity I know right now that he's a sound sleeper.
I cautiously open the door and peek in. Fast asleep...I think. "Jack?", I whisper just in case. After not even a grunt from him, I walk the rest of the way into the room and kneel beside the bed. A wave of feelings wash over me just like they do every time I see him.
Knowing my luck, I'll never have him. Never see his eyes gazing at me the way I want them to, or feel him touch me in a more-than-friendly way. It sucks to want what you can't have. But saying that just makes me take it as a challenge and I'll go on to lead another day guided by false hopes.
I finally reach my hand up and rub the back of it lightly over his cheek. His skin is so soft it makes me shiver and I have to have more of the touch. Leaning closer I brush the fingers of my other hand through his spiked hair. The hair spray already losing its hold.
I'm afraid to touch him any more than this. I mean, what if he wakes up? How am I going to answer the obvious "What the hell are you doing?!" that will tear my heart out and shred it? Even though I know what might happen I've got to take a chance sometime and fulfill my need. If only for a moment.
See, it's frustrating the way he talks about his latest kisses and how good he is and not being able to judge for myself. No, Duncan, you can't. Okay, so I can't taste his lips for now, but the need is too strong! At least let me taste his salty-sweet skin. That will more than hold me over through many midnight fantasies.
I suddenly notice my lips have gone dry so I lick them thoroughly as I stare at his face. This is it. Just do it and get the hell out of there. Taking a deep breath now, I run my fingers one more time through his hair and lightly kiss his forehead. It's not much, but just enough of his flavor coats my lips and sneaks into my mouth. Uh oh! Jack's face just tensed!
Oh shit! I pull away quickly. I think I'm hyperventilating now. How could I be so stupid?! Don't answer that. Well, answer him, moron! "Uhm...yes, Jack?" Yeah, that's good. I am so dead. His eyes are still closed, but no doubt he's caught me. He knows what I've done, what I've been doing. It's been quiet for a moment now. I think maybe I could at least breathe again if he answers me!
"...Dun...can...," he says at last. It's barely audible and very lazy. He's sleep talking? He's sleep talking! He's rolling over onto his stomach now. Phew! I can finally let out that breath I've been holding.
I quietly get up and walk to the door, pausing to gaze once more upon him. The way he said my name is something I'll not soon forget. And that'll satisfy my fantasies a whole lot more than the kiss will. Well...the kiss helps. Sigh. Here's to another sleepless night with mother thumb and her four daughters.
I woke up after I thought I heard my bedroom door close. My heart is pounding and I have a hard-on as big as the World Trade Center. This would be fine if it was caused by one of my normal "Asian girl" dreams, but it was caused by something else, somebody else. And who that somebody is, is why I'm so uncomfortable right now. Not one of the may girls I see every day and try to flirt with, not even Zoe again, but Duncan.
How wrong is that?! Duncan, my best friend since before I can remember! Not to mention he's a guy and I am NOT that way. So, if I'm so horrified by this, why isn't my hard-on going away? Oh no, nonono, don't even think that, Jack! Rationalize this. They say that everyone has at least one homosexual dream, right? Well, then, that's mine. Plain and simple, over and done with, never to be brought up again.
Man, but I can't forget it. In the dream, he came to me and wasted no time. He kissed my forehead first then kissed every inch of my face just as sweetly before finally ending my torment and covering my lips with his own. I can't remember now, but I wish I could still taste him. We kissed for what seemed like forever, tongues, teeth and all. I just know that I loved every minute of it. I slid my hands through his dyed curly hair as he pressed his hot body up against mine. I could've lived out my life happily if that was all he was going to do, but it wasn't.
He broke the kiss and tore my shirt clean off. I tried to do the same to his clothes but he wouldn't let me. He just kept going with my clothes and before I knew it, I was naked and vulnerable. Duncan paused once to look he over before guiding me to lie down on the bed which appeared out of nowhere. Whose bed was it? Beats the hell outta me! Then again, I don't care.
He smiled at me, but it wasn't his usual smile. This smile was feral. Like I was some prey and he was a hungry lion. I think I moaned just by looking at it. That's when he went to stand at the foot of the bed and gave me a slow, sensual strip show. And he just looked into my eyes the whole time. My eyes were gazing at everything but his.
When he finished, I found myself panting. He then crawled on the bed towards me until he was right over me. I could feel the heat from his body meet mine. That's when I looked into his blue eyes. They said so much without ever saying it at all. He laid himself down on me, our dicks pressed together between our stomachs. I arched just then which made him close his eyes and gasp. I didn't think anything on earth could feel better.
So he rubbed back against me a few times until I reached my hands down to his hips. He caught my wrists roughly to bring them up over my head. This was when he spoke, all deep and husky. It made me shiver. "Turn over." Did I argue? Hell no! I must have flipped onto my stomach faster than I've ever moved in my whole life.
He laid his body back down over me, kissing me just behind my ear. I uncharacteristically whimpered as he lifted up to kiss my nape and down over my back. Then his mouth was gone and soft hands I'm familiar with took me by the hips, pulling me up on my knees. Something hard was pushing against my ass and I wanted it, I needed it. I felt his chest cover my back again when he leaned in to whisper, "Relax." Oh God, how could I?! But I tried. For him, I'd try anything.
Suddenly, he grabbed my hips firmly and thrusted into me. It didn't hurt, though. That should have tipped me off right there that it was a dream I don't even know how it's supposed to feel, but what I felt was indescribable anyway. I cried out when he began to pump in and out of me. I could hear him cry out also, and that just gave me more pleasure.
I held myself up with one elbow and brought the other hand down to rub my cock. His hand snaked around and covered mine, both of us bringing me to the edge. By the sound and feel of it, he wasn't that far behind. With a few more thrusts, I came while shouting his name. He orgasmed quickly afterwards and collapsed onto my back one last time. His breath sounded in my ear and again I said his name, softer this time. "Dun...can."
Ohhh. I can't stand it anymore! I slide my hand under the sheets and touch myself for the first time since I've awoken. It takes only two hard pumps of my hand before I explode. I unconsciously want to call his name once again, but the way I want to call it, he'd definitely wake up down the hallway.
I think I like the take-charge Duncan from my dream. The Duncan that knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go for it. If only the real Duncan was like that. That might be interesting. Argh! This isn't right. It can't be! I wonder if this dream meant something. It might be best for both of us if it didn't. I need to talk to somebody about it, though. Leaving out the details, of course. Man, the morning cannot come soon enough.
To be continued...