OH, BOY! ...OR GIRL!

BY WISECRACKS

Jack laid on the hospital bed in extreme pain. His belly was HUGE, so he only saw the heads of some people walk in. He knew them, though: David, Sarah, Blink, Spot, Racetrack and Crutchy.

"Cowboy!" Jack looked over to his side to see Les. 'Oh...couldn't see his head'. Sarah grabbed Jack's hand and squeezed,

"Jack! What in the Lord's name happened?! Is this about the strange way your stomach is growing? What did the doctors say??"

Just then, Race, Spot and Blink started chuckling. The rest turned to look at their red faces. Crutchy hopped over to read the medical chart they were holding, "Uh...Jack?"

"What?"

"It says here youse pregnant"

"WHAT?!"

Blink fell backwards onto the floor in a fit of laughter. Spot had to leave the room before he fainted from lack of oxygen. Race just grinned at the confused look on Les' face. 'Poor boy's gonna need a shrink.'

Sarah opened and shut her mouth like a fish a few times, "How'd this happen?!" She suddenly looked up at David. He caught her look and raised his arms in defense.

"Well, don't look at ME!!! IT ISN'T EVEN POSSIBLE!"

**************Later on...**********

"Push, Jack! Push!"

"Breathe!"

"Wait, wait wait! How's dat thing sup'osed ta come out??" Race hollered. Everyone looked at each other, unable to answer. The other boys had taken Les out of the room after he started asking about babies. He lost interest quick and occupied himself with chasing after nurses with his wooden sword.

"What if they cut it out of his belly?" David asked. Jack shook his head NO! violently. "Jack, it's either that or....i dunno. You're not exactly equipped". There was a long pause. "Are you?"

"NO!"

"SORRY! After THIS anything seems possible!"

Just then a doctor walked in looking suspiciously like Skittery, "Are we ready ta proceed? Nurse!" A nurse came in which looked like Mush in drag.

"Ready, Doctor!" He/she/it brought a VERY large knife out from behind somewhere. Jack 'eep'ed. Just then, Jake walked right by the open door facing them with huge, openmouthed smile. The Doctor took the knife and raised it high in the air!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO--"

*****************

"--OOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jack woke up screaming. He fell right off the bed and landed smack dab on his rear. Everyone awoke with a start. Racetrack ran to him.

"Jack! Jack, youse okay?!"

It took Jack a few moments to think clearly. 'It...it was a dream? It was a DREAM! WOOHOO!' Out loud he said, "Yeah, Race, I'm okay now."

"Jeez, Cowboy! Ya given us haht attacks over here!" He started going back to his bunk. Jack sat there, some of the little ones still staring. He felt his stomach, smiled at them then dropped to the floor unconscious. They were afraid of Jack for years after.

The End.