NEWSIES: BOYS IN TIGHTS!

BY WISECRACKS

The guys shuffle out clothed in spandex, tights and tutus. They try to cover themselves up the best they can. Some even hide behind their friends. Wisecracks smiles evilly as she walks out in front of them.

"Well, boys, are ya ready?"

Mush had an excited grin slapped on his angelic face, "Yeah!" He looked around for similar answers from his friends, only getting whacked upside the head instead. Skittery made a face, which seems like all he ever does.

"You is seriously demented if ya think we're gonna go through wit dis!", he barked. Others nodded behind him.

"Your point?", Wisecracks replied. Jack shot out his hand.

"Yo, can I'se wear me hat?"

"Yeah, sure. It'll add color...or something", she went cross-eyed for a second. David raised his hand.

"Question!", he called. Wisecracks smiled wide.

"Wha?"

"Why am i wearing PINK?!"

"Hey, wha's wrong wit pink?!", Spot came forward and beaned David with his cane. David grabbed his throbbing head, mumbled something then retreated to the back.

"Hows come Spot isn't wearing any a dis stuff?", Swifty pointed out. Everyone turned to him with amazement like they didn't know he could talk. Wisecracks recovered first and answered.

"Cuz if i made him wear it, he'd have me killed. Irish leaders are sneaky! Don't you watch Oz?"

"Yeah, Ryan O'Reily's me hero", Spot informed them all. Some of the guys looked at each other like "Uh..." while others gulped audibly.

"Damn. Well, okay, let's get started!" Wisecracks clapped her hands and led all the fans from the list to some seats. They all ran in, each gawking at one of the guys. When they had all taken their seats, Wisecracks nodded to Les who popped in a tape with Macho Man on it. The music started and the boys danced across the stage. The graceful ones had no problem, but the others...well...Wisecracks tried to send advice their way.

"Jack, lift those legs higher! Racetrack, this is no time for a cigar!David...uh...I'll pray for you."

Spot turned to leave after his stomach did a flip. He REALLY didn't need to see this. As he left, some girls followed him. Well, duh! He reminded himself to pick up a can of mace on the way home. It was starting to get scary.

Nearing the end of the song, most of the gang wished they could die. Kid Blink was smiling all the way through it. 'Either we need to get that boy to take a drug test or his motto is I Smile Because I Have No Idea What's Going On.' Wisecracks thought. Skittery had done a twirl before leaving, but he held out longer than Racetrack bet on so Race lost 3 bucks. After he found that out, he left too.

~MACHO, MACHO MAAAAN! I'VE GOT TO BE A MACHO MAN! MACHO, MACHO MA-AN-AN, I'VE GOT TO BE A MACHO!~

It was over! The only one left standing was Crutchy. How'd THAT happen?! That kid's freaky! In fact, he was still dancing like crazy over the fallen bodies of the newsies around him.

"Uh...Crutchy? Crutchy! CRUTCHY!!" 'Cracks couldn't stop him. Just then, Spot flew across the stage like a bat outta hell! Hot on his tail were his girl shadows. "Hey, SPOT!" Spot skidded to a stop, turned, knocked Crutchy out with his cane, then ran away full speed. "Thanks!"

The audience of girls applauded. Their performance sucked, but seeing them in tights and spandex was worth the eye sore. Even the tutus didn't bother them. Well...some of them. It gave those few the creeps. Wisecracks climbed on stage as they walked out.

"That was precious. A little horrifying, but precious. How do you feel?" This was answered with groans and curses. Mush smiled.

"Let's do it again!" Shoes were thrown at him. Les walked up.

"I think my brother's dead."

"Nah, he just needs to be woken up. Go kick him in the..."

"I'M AWAKE!" David miraculously stood up and backed away. He took off his tutu and hummed it at the sadistic girl.

"Ha! Ya missed!"

Everyone else threw their tutus at her. "OW! OUCH! OKAY! STOP!"

"Can we'se get our reg'lar cloths now?" Jack asked. The next sound was that of a fire engine. Everyone looked outside to see a pile of cloths being burnt to ashes. Wisecracks mentally counted '1...2...3...now'

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" They all screamed in denial. David stood there with a vacant expression. Wisecracks knew you had to wait at least 6 seconds for a defiant reaction from him. Finally...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" he cried.

"Hmm, 2 seconds late. Maybe Spot shouldn't have hit ya in the head" She turned to the rest of them, "Tough break, Fellahs. I hope ya don't mind walkin home like this. Bye!" Wisecracks left snickering. The newsies looked at one another, obviously wanting to get revenge, but trying to figure out how to get home without pimps asking for their phone numbers.

*******Half an hour later*********

Kloppman looked up to see what he hoped wasn't his boys streaking past him in a assortment of colors. He grabbed one by the shoulder--Blink.

"What's going on??"

"Lock da door, Kloppman! Warden Snyder, Denton and Toby is outside wit cameras and they're whistling and waving money at us!", he screamed in terror and ran upstairs. Kloppman locked the door and went to where he hid the liquor.

"I need a drink."